he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
