peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
