don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
