what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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