After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize