she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize