one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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