I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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