Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
