I'm eating all of the evidence.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
