Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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