where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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