I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize