mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My dad just said "fuck circus"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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