So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize