you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
