that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
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