You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
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