I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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