dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
