Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
