woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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