Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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