ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
false alarm. still invincible.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
