but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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