haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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