Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
