I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
