If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
