Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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