I am spending my child support on dildos
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
