Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
