You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
