As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
