you have to choose: penises or morals?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
