Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
North Korea, Best Korea!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
