That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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