so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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