Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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