I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
