Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
