We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize