words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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