I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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