Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
NoShamevember. You game?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
