so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
