not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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