he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
