i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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