With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It was like getting head from an anaconda
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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