come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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