If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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