Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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