You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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