So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
