You can't motorboat a personality
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
