I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
