I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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