Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
