you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
