ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize