If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
