Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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