good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How does it feel to date your dad?
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