I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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